Echoes of the Willow

Things People Say to Widows (and What We’re Thinking…)

By Michelle Allen Whispering Willow http://www.echoesofthewillow.com

Some weeks, widowhood feels like carrying a backpack full of bricks while trying to smile at the grocery store clerk. Other weeks? It’s more like starring in a sitcom pilot you didn’t audition for, wearing pajama pants in public and ad-libbing your lines.

Welcome to Season Two: Widowhood Unscripted. There was no “Previously On…” to prepare us. No spoiler alert. Just life throwing a plot twist that cracked everything open.

And so we begin:

• Season 1, Episode 3: “I Found His Socks in the Freezer”
• Mid-Season Plot Twist: “The First Wedding Invite (for One)”
• Season Finale: “Who Am I Without the Guy Who Always Ordered For Me at Taco Bell?”

Nobody handed me a guidebook when my life split in two. If they had, I’d have hurled it across the room—then fished it out of the trash at 2 a.m. whispering, “Fine. Tell me what page the healing is on.”

Grief is messy and holy and has an inconvenient sense of humor.

This week, I caught myself whispering, “Well, that’s a new low,” as I ate cereal out of a measuring cup, wearing his old sweatshirt, surrounded by plumbing parts I didn’t know existed.

So what do we do with all that sacred chaos?

We give it chapter titles.

• Chapter 4: “I Argued With His Hoodie and Lost”
• Chapter 9: “Fixed a Toilet. Felt Like Beyoncé.”
• Chapter 12: “I Laughed at a Funeral—Mine (Emotionally).”

Because if we can’t rewrite the script, we can at least name the episodes.

If this Widow Wednesday finds you wondering whether you’re allowed to cry and laugh in the same five minutes (you are), or whether you’re the only one who swears he’s still changing the GPS route from the other side (you’re definitely not)—this corner of the internet is for you.

You are not alone. You are not broken. And you are most definitely the star of your own brilliantly unscripted season.

Now cue the laugh track, pour the wine, and let’s keep becoming.

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