What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
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By Michelle Allen
If I could sit down with my younger self and share one piece of wisdom, it would be this:
Not everything is meant to last forever, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t real.
As a teenager, I fell deeply in love with my high school sweetheart. Like most young people, we believed our future was already written. We thought love would conquer distance, circumstances, and whatever else life decided to throw our way. But life had other plans.
When he left to work out of state, our time together came to an end. At the time, it felt like one of the greatest heartbreaks I would ever experience. If I could go back and speak to that younger version of myself, I would tell her that sometimes love isn’t enough to overcome timing. And that’s okay.
What I didn’t know then was that our story wasn’t truly over.
Life carried us in different directions for nearly forty years. I married, raised children, built a life, and experienced both joys and challenges. He walked his own path through relationships, a brief marriage, and eventually a long-term relationship that brought him significant pain and trauma. Despite the difficulties, he stayed because of the children they shared and the responsibilities he felt toward them.
During those decades apart, we each accumulated scars, wisdom, regrets, triumphs, and lessons. We both thought we understood how life worked. We both learned that certainty is often an illusion.
Yet somehow, after all those years, the stars aligned and brought us back together.
If I had known that as a young woman, it would have saved me countless tears. Not because I would have spent forty years waiting, but because I would have worried less about how everything was supposed to turn out. I would have understood that life unfolds in its own time, not according to our plans.
One of the most painful lessons I learned was that we cannot force people, situations, or timing to fit the story we want to live. Sometimes we have to let go. Sometimes we have to walk away. Sometimes we have to trust that whatever is meant for us will find its way back, even if it takes decades.
Looking back, I wouldn’t erase the years apart. Those years shaped both of us into the people we are today. The experiences, the mistakes, the successes, the heartbreaks, and even the losses all played a role in preparing us for a second chance we never expected.
So what would have saved my younger self a lot of pain?
I would tell her to stop trying so hard to control the future.
Love deeply. Learn from every chapter. Trust the journey.
The people who are meant to be part of your story may leave for a while. Some never return. But sometimes, in the most unexpected twist of all, life circles back and gives you another opportunity to appreciate what you once thought was lost forever.
And when it does, you’ll realize that some stories aren’t meant to be rushed. They’re meant to be lived.
What about you? What’s one thing you know now that would have saved your younger self a lot of pain?
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